Mandalay and the boat to Bagan: The Swimming Market
“Mandalay.” For a city with such a magical name, it’s generally considered to be a letdown once you’re there. It’s a big spread-out city with lots of traffic, whose attractions pale in comparison to Schwedagon, Inle Lake, and Bagan. We would have skipped it all together except for the fact that the boat to Bagan left at daybreak...and as we wanted to see Lu Zaw and the famed Moustache Brothers.
With low expectations we rolled into Mandalay, and we had what turned out to be a very pleasant half-day there to look around. There’s a good local market, of similar scale to Bogyoke Market in Yangon, but with far fewer tourists.
After going through the market I hired a cyclo for the ride back to the hotel.
My cyclo driver was of indeterminate age, but of indisputably high mileage. His face was deeply lined and his teeth were sparse, but he was a certainly a bundle of energy. Michelle was a little uncomfortable with his driving, as he navigated his cyclo across about six lanes of two-way traffic. I loved the chaos:
“Get a picture of us in the madness,” I said to Michelle with a big smile, as the cars zoomed all around us.
“No, I don’t trust this guy,” she replied as she surveyed the buzzing cars with great discomfort.
“Hernandez, this guy has managed to stay alive here for somewhere between 40 and 80 years, so I’m thinking he’s going to get us through the day,” I shouted over the din.
Indeed we arrived safely at the hotel. As I paid our cyclo-driver, he looked me in the eye, and with sadness and sincerity said “Life for us is very hard. Everywhere there are spies. Please take this,” and with that he slipped a note into my palm as he shook my hand. Quickly trying to recall spy etiquette from the James Bond films, I slipped the note into my pocket and tried to act normal, because here in Myanmar THERE PROBABLY REALLY ARE SPIES ALL OVER THE PLACE.
When I got to my room I looked at what he gave me, and found it to be an old banknote with the picture of Bogyoke Aung San, considered to be a father of modern Burma. He also happens to be the father of Aung San Suu Kyi. I’m not really sure of the driver’s motivation in giving me the banknote, and it all made me a little uneasy. He didn’t take it lightly, nor did I.
On the subject of spies, that night we went to see the famed Moustache Brothers. These three brothers have gained some degree of fame worldwide through their well-publicized problems with the government. Apparently they have been entertainers for many years, and were well known throughout Myanmar when they were invited to perform in front of some government officials in the mid 1990s. Unfortunately they made a fairly innocuous crack about the government, which resulted in two of the three brothers being arrested and sentenced to seven years of hard labor. A heavy price to pay for a joke. Over time word of their plight got around, and various Hollywood types started campaigning for their release. They busted rock with murderers and other unsavory characters, and were released after five years. For a joke!
The net is that the three brothers now perform a nightly show in their house, specifically for Westerners, consisting of some slapstick comedy and traditional dance. The government is still watching, and apparently the only thing that keeps them out of jail now is that they are known internationally. Lu Zaw is the only one of the three brothers who speaks English, so he's the start of the show, although Par Par Lay was traditionally the best known, and seems to get the most attention internationally. Frankly the show itself is no great shakes, but hearing their story and chatting with them is a powerful and somewhat surreal experience, and should not be missed.
It’s easy to fly from Mandalay to Bagan, but, well….where’s the adventure in that? The right way to go is by boat! The boat ride from Mandalay to Bagan has progressed over the years to where it’s now, for better or worse, a simple and comfortable ride on a modern tourist boat. Though I would prefer something with more of a local flavor, Michelle requires something with a tolerable bathroom, so on the tourist boat we go.
It’s a very pleasant day on the Ayeyarwady (Myanmar’s version of the Mississippi River), providing great looks at life on the river. The boat only made a couple stops, and one stop was wildly entertaining. Local vendors waded out in water up to their necks, trying to sell fruit and other snacks to the Westerners on the boat. One of the hands on the boat called it a “swimming market.” If you made eye contact with a vendor, then you were instantly involved in playing “let’s make a deal.” Buyers on the boat and sellers in the water would haggle on price, and every few seconds a deal was consummated and a vendor would hurl bananas onto the boat.
The sellers were all friendly and animated, and it was all a joy to watch. By local standards the prices were no bargains: They were asking (and getting) the equivalent of nearly $1 for a bunch of bananas, that in the markets cost maybe twenty cents. But, the service was good and the entertainment was fantastic, so they got their price. There were winners all around: The sellers made money, the buyers got snacks, and everyone on the boat got a great show.
I thought the ride was relaxing and great fun, but in the interest of full disclosure, Michelle found it to be more along the lines of “tolerable.” Long trips in Asia on trains, busses or boats invariably bring “the bathroom problem.” Toilets on these things can be charitably described as” grotty,” and Michelle would rather do without food and water then to deal with a bathroom visit. It’s taken me 15 years of marriage to fully appreciate the magnitude of “the bathroom problem” for women visitors in Asia, but at this point I’m sensitized.
Regardless, we made it just fine, and after a very pleasant ten hours on the water, we arrived in Bagan just as the sun set over the river.
Bob’s ratings (1=terrible, 5=ok, 10=fantastic)
- Mandalay: 5
- Silver Star Hotel, Mandalay: 6 (particularly for $28)
- Moustache Brothers show: 8 (it’s all about them, not the show)
- Boat to Bagan: 7 (if you enjoy travel by boat)
Next - Bagan: We should all have someone who prays TO us